These are questions previous generations haven’t had to answer: what are the rules about social media and death? What should we do about social media when a loved one dies? Should we post about it? Should someone close their accounts? What’s the right thing to say on social media when a loved one dies? Or when you want to offer condolences via a social media account?
Social Media and Death: What Should I Do?
Let’s start with the obvious question: is posting about death on social media ok?
If you have learned of someone’s death, the natural impulse is to share that information with someone else. But sharing it on social media can be a bad idea. Unless you know with absolute certainty that the family is aware of the death, and that they would share the exact same information that you would, it’s best to refrain. Instead, reach out privately to share the news with friends and family.
When sharing the news, keep the privacy of and respect for the deceased’s family in mind. In fact, those should be your primary concerns. Imagine if you were in that situation: would you want to read about your loved one’s passing on Facebook? Would you want someone to send you a Tweet?
While it might seem like an efficient way to share news, one of the problems with sharing delicate news this way is that social media posts can very often read differently than the poster intends. They can sometimes seem cold or even sarcastic, even when that’s not the intention. It can also be easy to misread information that’s posted, even when that information is accurate. And it’s also possible to misconstrue information.
Think of how you’d like to be treated were you in this situation. Chances are, you’d prefer to not open Facebook to a slew of notifications about your loved one’s passing.
Social Media and Death: When It’s OK to Post
If it is your loved one who has passed, you can make the decision about whether or not you want to share the information via social media. The best time to do this might be after the obituary has been written and published. This is because you can simply share that obituary. You can also direct people to the funeral home’s condolences page, where they can leave memories or good wishes for the entire family to read when they’re ready.
It might even be a good idea to trust a friend or more distant family member to take care of social media posts on your behalf. Discuss with them what you’re willing to share and let them know that they can ignore posts or questions that fall outside those boundaries. Remember, too, that it’s possible to hide comments or block people if they breach those boundaries or are disrespectful of your wishes.
Social Media and Death: Death Announcement Examples
There are countless ways to announce the death of a loved one via social media, when the time is right. You might opt for a general message, such as these:
It is with heavy hearts that we announce the death of our (friend/parent/sibling/spouse) (insert name here). They touched our life with (joy/wisdom/laughter/etc) and made this world a better place. We will carry our memories of them with us and invite you to join us for (funeral/celebration of life/service) on (insert date and place here).
or
After a long battle with (illness), (loved one’s name here) left this world on (insert date here). We have been so grateful for the outpouring of love and support in these past few (days/weeks/months) and invite you to join us as we celebrate their life and share memories of better times. Services will be held (insert information here). Please view the full obituary (insert link to funeral home remembrance page here) for more information.
You can also make the announcement more personal if you wish. After all, your loved one was a unique person with their own passions and interests in life. Their death announcement on social media can reflect that, if you wish. Some examples might be:
(Loved one’s name) always made us laugh. We’ll never forget the time (he/she/they) (insert funny story here) or the time (he/she/they) (insert funny story here). We will miss (him/her/them) more than we can say. Please join us on (insert details here) at (insert details here) to celebrate (his/her/their) life. Bring stories about how (he/she/they) made you laugh.
or
If you knew (loved one’s name), you know that (he/she/they) loved any game with a ball. As we grieve (his/her/their) death, we invite you to join us (insert date/time details here) at (insert location details here) as we attend a (insert details here) game in (his/her/their) honor. Bring your (mitt/cleats/seat cushion) and your favorite memory to share as we commemorate (his/her/their) too-short but passion-filled life.
If you are stumped about how to best announce the passing of a loved one, we can help. It can also help to see more examples or to ask others to write it for you.
Social Media and Death: Your Loved One’s Accounts
If your loved one had social media accounts, you’ll need to attend to those after their death. Facebook lets members set legacy contacts so it’s easy to get into the account if necessary. It also allows you to turn your loved one’s personal page into a remembrance page. This means the page will still be active and people can still tag the page and share memories, but it will show the word “remembering” before your loved one’s name, as an indication to all that your loved one has passed.
More information for other social media platforms, including Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, and LinkedIn, can be found here.
If you need help navigating these end of life tasks, please reach out. We are here for you and your family during this time of loss.
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