Making arrangements after the death of a loved one might make you wonder what should I ask the funeral home?
This is especially true if a service hasn’t been pre-planned or if you’ve not dealt with death before. Sometimes, even asking just that question can be difficult, because talking about death and the rituals that surround death and dying can be awkward, difficult, and painful for many. This is one of the many reasons that working with an established, community-focused funeral home and an experienced, compassionate funeral director is so important.
Talking About Death
It’s no secret that talking about death can be uncomfortable. Some of us avoid the topic altogether unless we absolutely must face the death of a loved one. Others try, but find it intimidating or awkward for a variety of reasons.
Like other situations that leave us feeling emotional and vulnerable (like breaking up with a significant other or firing an employee, for example), talking about death in a clear, concise way is often difficult because the topic is emotional and difficult to think about. We all know that none of us want to think about those closest to us dying. But we all also know that eventually, that time will come.
Being vulnerable enough to discuss death in a compassionate yet logical way is difficult even when our loved ones are alive and well. Imagine, then, how much more difficult it can be when a loved one has died. Grieving the loss of a loved one can actually affect our memory, concentration, and cognition. This can make parsing the logistics of planning a loved one’s end of life services especially difficult.
When a loved one dies and we are overcome with emotion, we may not be able to think about very important questions, like how do I choose a funeral home? or what does a funeral director do? or is there a funeral home in Brookhaven?
One of the most important questions that you might not be able to think about immediately after the death of a loved one might be what questions should I ask the funeral home?
One of our core values has always been to guide you as you participate in the planning of the funeral service and to help you create an experience that is meaningful to you and those who attend. We know that when you need us, you are often experiencing the worst day of your life (or often a string of very bad days). It is our job–and our life’s work–to help you navigate this time.
How to Choose a Funeral Home
There are several factors that go into choosing a funeral home. Some families have a tradition of always working with the same funeral home when a loved one passes. Others have met a funeral director they trust, and seek out that person’s services no matter where he or she works. Still others might look for a particular service or prefer someone with a certain religious affiliation.
It’s our belief that a good funeral home helps you complete the relationship you had with your loved one before they passed. This means that we never have a one-size-fits-all approach to services. Instead, we focus on you and your family and loved ones and help you plan a service that will comfort you as you mourn your loved one’s death.
What Is a Funeral Director?
You should always know who you’ll be working with when you choose to work with a funeral home. A funeral director will be the person at the funeral home you work with most closely. A funeral director is a licensed and trained professional who will help you plan and organize the funeral service. The funeral director will also communicate with the cemetery (if you opt for a burial) or the crematorium (if you decide to have your loved one cremated).
We have two funeral directors at Bateman-Allen. Eve has been a licensed funeral director since 2011 and Charles earned his license in 2010. Both have deep roots in the Brookhaven community. Eve’s grandfather, Ned, opened Bateman-Allen (then Bateman Funeral Home) in 1950. In 1975 Ned’s son Lee, Eve’s father, earned his license and in 1982 became the supervisor and owner. Eve joined her father in the family business in 2005.
Charles joined the Bateman family in 2020. He was born and raised in the Penn-Delco community.
We share this information because we wholeheartedly believe it’s important to know who you’re working with and what drives them to do the work they do. Our commitment to serve the Brookhaven community with dignity and passion has never wavered.
What Should I Ask the Funeral Home?
One of the most important parts of our job is to broach any possible topic that needs to be discussed. This means asking hard and often emotionally loaded questions, listening keenly, and presenting our clients with options that will best serve their needs.
It’s our philosophy that if we do our jobs well, you shouldn’t have to ask us any questions. This is because it is our goal to guide you through each and every aspect of planning your loved one’s services without you having to ask questions. A good, thorough, experienced funeral director will leave no stone unturned during the process.
An experienced, empathetic funeral director will be able talk about death and grieving in a way that is at once clear and compassionate. We understand the laws and regulations that every funeral home must obey, and we know how important it is to be thoughtful but also honest.
While some might think that “sugar coating” particularly difficult conversations can help the grieving process, we actually believe that honest communication, even when that’s challenging, is the most respectful and loving way to communicate.
This means that one of the qualities you might look for in a funeral director is the ability to speak about difficult topics. It’s also vital that they will have the ability to explain each step of the process without using industry-talk that might be difficult to understand. Instead, you want someone who explains things with everyday language that is easy to understand.
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